Should I wait or leave?

[ardhanari]

Being in so many religions in the past, I am very much afraid that my love for Krishna will pass again and that this is only a brief moment. I have been a New Ager, a Wiccan, a Pentecostal, a Catholic, and at present, a Baha'i for a year now. But I have always loved Krishna, and I desire to let my Baha'i identity go to follow Him exclusively.

Should I continue and wait for another year of study until I can be sure of myself, or should I leave around March or even for less of a year as my heart is inclining towards? I desire to practice Gaudiya Vaishnavism in full, but carrying my Baha'i identity is like trying to serve both Baha'u'llah and Krishna, while I find the latter more provoking to my own heart.

What should I do?

Radhe Shyam,
Ardhanari.

[sm78]

At your age this is not surprising. You bear some resemblance in your indecision to choose a path, to Orlando who used to post here frequently sometime back.

I think its as important to have one's common sense wisdom and critical thinking open as it is to follow the heart's desire.

That's all.

[ardhanari]

Yeah... I sort of had a moment where I realised that I should put some time into what I am getting into... XD At the moment, I will continue studying Hindu and Gaudiya Vaishnava Scriptures, as well as practicing sankirtana, daily japa (of Hare Krishna mahamantra, of course), puja, and following the regulative principles (I am still working on the caffeine; otherwise, I am fine, lol).

I don't need an organisation or instantaneous initiation to follow Krishna... right now. We'll see what happens in the next two years, or at least until my next birthday. There are many questions that I do have on Gaudiya Vaishnavism (literalism, taboo on left hands, etc.) that still slightly shake me and make me want to lean towards the Neo-Vedantic movement. XD

Harebol!
Ardhanari.

[meez]

Hello!

You may not have to leave anything, my friend. You can have beliefs from many different faiths, philosophies, etc. You can love Krishna and follow Krishna's teachings, while at the same time finding other aspects of other religions/philosophies that you can follow and learn from. Try not to force yourself to be labeled as, or follow a specific religion if your beliefs don't lead you there.

I wish you the best my friend, take care.

[Arvind Sivaraman]

Being in so many religions in the past, I am very much afraid that my love for Krishna will pass again and that this is only a brief moment. I have been a New Ager, a Wiccan, a Pentecostal, a Catholic, and at present, a Baha'i for a year now. But I have always loved Krishna, and I desire to let my Baha'i identity go to follow Him exclusively.

Should I continue and wait for another year of study until I can be sure of myself, or should I leave around March or even for less of a year as my heart is inclining towards? I desire to practice Gaudiya Vaishnavism in full, but carrying my Baha'i identity is like trying to serve both Baha'u'llah and Krishna, while I find the latter more provoking to my own heart.

What should I do?

Radhe Shyam,
Ardhanari.

Om Shirdi Sai Ram.
Namaste Ardhanari.
Great Saints have mentioned that, come what may you must stick to your religion and bolster.(Bolster meaning Guru).Think deeply about it and then take a decision.

[Kaos]

I envy no one, nor am I partial to anyone. I am equal to all. But whoever renders service unto Me in devotion is a friend, is in Me, and I am a friend to him.

-Bhagavad Gita Ch.9 v.29

[Eastern Mind]

I agree with the person who mentioned your age. I've been studying one path for 36 years, and still feel like a baby. Its kind of like a job. You have to commit for a long while before deciding. At age 19, to have been through so many, well it seems like too much hopping around to get a real true sense. But then that's just my opinion. Aum Namashivaya

[ardhanari]

Allah-u-Abha! (God is Most Glorious!)

Eastern Mind, 36 years is quite a hefty long time! I wouldn't have realised the immensity of Hindu Dharma, being isolated spiritually from other Hindus who I can communicate with who are Englishly versed.

I do feel like hopping, and after talking with another Baha'i about this, I have come to a conclusion of patience instead. He does say that in a way, I have created my own religion, because although I do not explicitly reject Baha'u'llah and His Teachings, I am following the Religion of God from an "older Dispensation."

I am just going to continue going to the Baha'i Feasts, sometimes participate in Ruhi (Baha'i book course), daily practices (reading the Baha'i Writings every morn and eventide, recite Allah-u-Abha [God is Most Glorious] 95 times, and say my Obligatory Prayer), and simultaneously do Gaudiya Vaishnavite practices (sankirtan, japa for 16 rounds minimum, puja). Perhaps I may be out of this predicament in the future, whether near or far. Although I do feel more spiritually obliged to perform the latter activities, I do the former in my sense of spiritual duty, being physically part of the Baha'i Faith.

But as a person told me, "Don't worry!" I will continue this until something happens, lol. But eventually, I must follow one. For being a Baha'i and following Gaudiya Vaishnava principles is in a sense, not following the laws of Baha'u'llah, and thus not loving Him or accepting Him as Messenger of God for this Age. Following Baha'i principles as a Krishna bhakta is associating with impersonalists, and can potentially make me reincarnated again. Unless I am forced to choose, I am sure that God will eventually pave my path for me...

In any case, a) I am going to try not to worry and make such a haste decision, despite my apparent feelings of "senility," and b) I just wish to serve and devote my whole self to Krishna, and I will try to do it in the best way I can.


Jaya Radhe,
Ardhanari.

[ardhanari]

Meez, thank you for your words! Unfortunately, Baha'u'llah makes Himself very clear that to love Him is to love God. Thus, to follow His Laws is to follow the Laws of God. One of those Laws is not to make a distinction between the Manifestations of God (of which I have done with Krishna and Baha'u'llah), another is that physical idols and the idols of superstition or vain imaginations are forbidden (another whoopsie), and by following Krishna, I am, in a sense, following an old Dispensation, while the Baha'i Faith is all about following the new Dispensation, the Dispensation of Baha'u'llah.

It is very difficult; I have to deal with ISKCON's version of Gaudiya Vaishnavism (so I do not know what is specific to them as opposed to ther others). I'm not sure if I believe that the left hand and pointed finger are 'inauspicious' or that being a non-vegetarian can bring us back to a hellish existence. And the literalism can bug me as well, being that the Baha'i Faith interprets the world's Scriptures rather metaphorically...

Anyways, lots of problems and conundrums. But I pray that they will all dissipate with time as I spend more time learning more deeply with these two religious traditions...


Haribol,
Ardhanari.

[sarabhanga]

Namaste Ardhanari,

Since Mirza Husayn Ali (alias Baha'u'llah) was an Islamic reformer, the "old Dispensation" must be Islam, which only allows the worship of one "idol of superstition and vain imagination" ~ the Makara Linga, which is the emblem of Kamadeva, the regent of Shukra (Venus), which is sacred to Friday. And Mirza Husayn Ali declared that not even the great Makara should be worshipped.

Trying to follow a particularly advaitic interpretation of Islam (i.e. Baha'i) and a particularly dvaitic interpretation of Hinduism (i.e. ISKCON) simultaneously is bound to cause confusion !!!