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Thread: The right behavior of a hindu woman

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    The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Namaste all.
    Please read Srimad Bhagavata Purana,Canto 7,Chapter 11.
    (25) Following him in his vows, being regular, favorably disposed to her husband as well as to his friends and relatives and readiness one finds with a woman in divine respect with her husband [see too B.G. 1: 40]. (26-27) She is of cleaning, mopping and decorating the house as a housewife and personally finely dressed with her clothes and household articles always clean; to the small and great desires of her husband is she a chaste and modest woman of sense control as well as of controlled speech and she is veritable, pleasing, loving and of respect for her husband when it is called for. (28) Of contentment, not greedy, expert in serving, knowing what is dharma, kind, speaking the truth, attentive, pure and affectionate, should she worship the husband as long as he is straight with her. (29) Any woman who accepts her husband as the Supreme Personality is of service exactly like the Goddess of Fortune; devoted is she to the spirit of Hari with her husband in the spiritual world of Vaikunthha just like Laxmi enjoying the eternal herself. (30) Of the ones born from a mix of class [pratilomaja with a lower man and anulomaja with a higher man] is there according the family tradition the duty not to be of the theft and sin of the lower outcast.

    Now please read the Prabhupada's translation at http://www.srimadbhagavatam.com/7/11/en

    SB 7.11.25:To render service to the husband, to be always favorably disposed toward the husband, to be equally well disposed toward the husband's relatives and friends, and to follow the vows of the husband — these are the four principles to be followed by women described as chaste.

    SB 7.11.26-27: A chaste woman must dress nicely and decorate herself with golden ornaments for the pleasure of her husband. Always wearing clean and attractive garments, she should sweep and clean the household with water and other liquids so that the entire house is always pure and clean. She should collect the household paraphernalia and keep the house always aromatic with incense and flowers and must be ready to execute the desires of her husband. Being modest and truthful, controlling her senses, and speaking in sweet words, a chaste woman should engage in the service of her husband with love, according to time and circumstances.

    SB 7.11.28: A chaste woman should not be greedy, but satisfied in all circumstances. She must be very expert in handling household affairs and should be fully conversant with religious principles. She should speak pleasingly and truthfully and should be very careful and always clean and pure. Thus a chaste woman should engage with affection in the service of a husband who is not fallen.

    SB 7.11.29: The woman who engages in the service of her husband, following strictly in the footsteps of the goddess of fortune, surely returns home, back to Godhead, with her devotee husband, and lives very happily in the Vaikuṇṭha planets.


    Regards,
    Orlando.

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    and what's the right behaviour of a hindu man? especially towards his wife?
    satay

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    I am not sure about the answer to your questions but maybe it is found at http://www.srimadbhagavatam.org/canto7/chapter14.html or/and http://www.srimadbhagavatam.org/canto11/chapter17.html
    Maybe you will find answer in Manu Smriti.You can find it at http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/manu.htm

    Regards,
    Orlando.

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Bhakta of God
    I am not sure about the answer to your questions but maybe it is found at
    Strange that you would post here how a 'woman' should behave but seem to have no idea of how a 'man' should behave and you are going through maybe this and that!

    A wife is called a 'ARDHANGINI' meaning 'half of man' implying that she is the other half of man! Any yagna, any sacrifice, any charity is not valid for a married man if the wife didn't take part in it. This is the vedic way but I can not find the exact reference from scriptures...it has been taught to me by my mother and father (my first gurus).

    A man must show better behaviour for every point you outlined here for women, only then he is qualified to have company of such a woman.

    Anyway your behaviour for 'woman' is outdated and is clearly written by some men who appraently forgot to write what a man's role should be!!
    satay

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Quote Originally Posted by satay
    Anyway your behaviour for 'woman' is outdated and is clearly written by some men who appraently forgot to write what a man's role should be!!
    Namaste Satay.
    Please note that those words were tolden from the great sage Narada Muni who is a great bhakta of Lord Sriman Narayana.


    You can read the "biography" of Narada Muni in the first Canto of Srimad Bhagavata Purana.
    http://www.srimadbhagavatam.org/canto1/c1-contents.html

    Please note that Srimad Bhagavatam was compiled from the great sage Srila Vyasadseva,who of course is very truthful and didn't change the words spoken from Narada Muni.

    Regards,
    Orlando.

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Bhakta of God
    Namaste Satay.
    Please note that those words were tolden from the great sage Narada Muni who is a great bhakta of Lord Sriman Narayana.
    But those "words" are now outdated and it doesn't make sense to expect women to behave like this in the year 2006 especially if the man doesn't know how to behave to his wife properly!!

    Orlando, I am telling you from experience, if you expect a woman to behave like this in practice you better first set a good example by behaving in the same way otherwise you will be sleeping on the sofa for the rest of your married life. Narada Muni is not going to come and help you; he will be enjoying the show from indraloka.
    Last edited by satay; 04 July 2006 at 11:20 AM.
    satay

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    Post Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Quote Originally Posted by satay
    But those "words" are now outdated and it doesn't make sense to expect women to behave like this in the year 2006 especially if the man doesn't know how to behave to his wife properly!!

    Orlando, I am telling you from experience, if you expect a woman to behave like this in practice you better first set a good example by behaving in the same way otherwise you will be sleeping on the sofa for the rest of your married life. Narada Muni is not going to come and help you; he will be enjoying the show from indraloka.
    Of couse I have behave properly to my wife if I expect that she follow the words of Bhagavan Narada Muni.
    Please read how Swami Prabhupada comments the verse 28.
    By http://www.srimadbhagavatam.com/7/11/28/en

    Bhaktivedanta VedaBase: Śrīmad Bhāgavatam 7.11.28

    santuṣṭālolupā dakṣā
    dharma-jρā priya-satya-vāk
    apramattā śuciḥ snigdhā
    patiḿ tv apatitaḿ bhajet

    SYNONYMS

    santuṣṭā — always satisfied; alolupā — without being greedy; dakṣā — very expert in serving; dharma-jρā — fully conversant with religious principles; priya — pleasing; satya — truthful; vāk — in speaking; apramattā — attentive in service to her husband; śuciḥ — always clean and pure; snigdhā — affectionate; patim — the husband; tu — but; apatitam — who is not fallen; bhajet — should worship.

    TRANSLATION

    A chaste woman should not be greedy, but satisfied in all circumstances. She must be very expert in handling household affairs and should be fully conversant with religious principles. She should speak pleasingly and truthfully and should be very careful and always clean and pure. Thus a chaste woman should engage with affection in the service of a husband who is not fallen.
    PURPORT

    According to the injunction of Yājρavalkya, an authority on religious principles, āśuddheḥ sampratikṣyo hi mahāpātaka-dūṣitaḥ. One is considered contaminated by the reactions of great sinful activities when one has not been purified according to the methods of the daśa-vidhā-saḿskāra. In Bhagavad-gītā, however, the Lord says, na māḿ duṣkṛtino mūḍhāḥ prapadyante narādhamāḥ: [Bg. 7.15] "Those miscreants who do not surrender unto Me are the lowest of mankind." The word narādhama means "nondevotee." Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu also said, yei bhaje sei baḍa, abhakta — hīna, chāra. Anyone who is a devotee is sinless. One who is not a devotee, however, is the most fallen and condemned. It is recommended, therefore, that a chaste wife not associate with a fallen husband. A fallen husband is one who is addicted to the four principles of sinful activity — namely illicit sex, meat-eating, gambling and intoxication. Specifically, if one is not a soul surrendered to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, he is understood to be contaminated. Thus a chaste woman is advised not to agree to serve such a husband. It is not that a chaste woman should be like a slave while her husband is narādhama, the lowest of men. Although the duties of a woman are different from those of a man, a chaste woman is not meant to serve a fallen husband. If her husband is fallen, it is recommended that she give up his association. Giving up the association of her husband does not mean, however, that a woman should marry again and thus indulge in prostitution. If a chaste woman unfortunately marries a husband who is fallen, she should live separately from him. Similarly, a husband can separate himself from a woman who is not chaste according to the description of the śāstra. The conclusion is that a husband should be a pure Vaiṣṇava and that a woman should be a chaste wife with all the symptoms described in this regard. Then both of them will be happy and make spiritual progress in Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    However a true vaishnava woman who is married to a true (and well behaved) vaishnva man shoud follow the instructions of Shri Narada Muni.
    Please read how Swami Prabhupada comments the verse 29.
    By http://www.srimadbhagavatam.com/7/11/29/en
    yā patiḿ hari-bhāvena
    bhajet śrīr iva tat-parā
    hary-ātmanā harer loke
    patyā śrīr iva modate

    SYNONYMS

    yā — any woman who; patim — her husband; hari-bhāvena — mentally accepting him as equal to Hari, the Supreme Personality of Godhead; bhajet — worships or renders service to; śrīḥ iva — exactly like the goddess of fortune; tat-parā — being devoted; hari-ātmanā — completely absorbed in thoughts of Hari; hareḥ loke — in the spiritual world, the Vaikuṇṭha planets; patyā — with her husband; śrīḥ iva — exactly like the goddess of fortune; modate — enjoys spiritual, eternal life.

    TRANSLATION

    The woman who engages in the service of her husband, following strictly in the footsteps of the goddess of fortune, surely returns home, back to Godhead, with her devotee husband, and lives very happily in the Vaikuṇṭha planets.
    PURPORT

    The faithfulness of the goddess of fortune is the ideal for a chaste woman. The Brahma-saḿhitā (5.29) says, lakṣmī-sahasra-śata-sambhrama-sevyamānam. In the Vaikuṇṭha planets, Lord Viṣṇu is worshiped by many, many thousands of goddesses of fortune, and in Goloka Vṛndāvana, Lord Kṛṣṇa is worshiped by many, many thousands of gopīs, all of whom are goddesses of fortune. A woman should serve her husband as faithfully as the goddess of fortune. A man should be an ideal servant of the Lord, and a woman should be an ideal wife like the goddess of fortune. Then both husband and wife will be so faithful and strong that by acting together they will return home, back to Godhead, without a doubt. In this regard, Śrīla Madhvācārya gives this opinion:

    harir asmin sthita iti
    strīṇāḿ bhartari bhāvanā
    śiṣyāṇāḿ ca gurau nityaḿ
    śūdrāṇāḿ brāhmaṇādiṣu
    bhṛtyānāḿ svāmini tathā
    hari-bhāva udīritaḥ

    A woman should think of her husband as the Supreme Lord. Similarly, a disciple should think of the spiritual master as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, a śūdra should think of a brāhmaṇa as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and a servant should think of his master as the Supreme Personality of Godhead. In this way, all of them will automatically become devotees of the Lord. In other words, by thinking this way, all of them will become Kṛṣṇa conscious.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Of course since I am not a Gaudiya-vaishnava I don't believe in Goloka Vrindavana and in the fact that there are many goddesses of fortune (Lakshmi).I believe that there is only ONE Shri Maha-Lakshmi.
    However what Swami Prabhupada says about the behavior of vaishnava woman is right.
    You asked:
    and what's the right behaviour of a hindu man? especially towards his wife?

    I hope to have founde the answer in Manu Smriti,Chapter 3.
    By http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/manu/manu03.htm
    55. Women must be honoured and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands, and brothers-in-law, who desire (their own) welfare.

    56. Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rite yields rewards.

    57. Where the female relations live in grief, the family soon wholly perishes; but that family where they are not unhappy ever prospers.

    58. The houses on which female relations, not being duly honoured, pronounce a curse, perish completely, as if destroyed by magic.

    59. Hence men who seek (their own) welfare, should always honour women on holidays and festivals with (gifts of) ornaments, clothes, and (dainty) food.

    60. In that family, where the husband is pleased with his wife and the wife with her husband, happiness will assuredly be lasting.



    Regards,
    Orlando.

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Bhakta of God
    Of couse I have behave properly to my wife if I expect that she follow the words of Bhagavan Narada Muni.
    However what Swami Prabhupada says about the behavior of vaishnava woman is right.
    Okay orlando, I wish you good luck.

    You asked:
    and what's the right behaviour of a hindu man? especially towards his wife?

    I hope to have founde the answer in Manu Smriti,Chapter 3.
    By http://www.sacred-texts.com/hin/manu/manu03.htm
    [B]55. Women must be honoured and adorned by their fathers, brothers, husbands, and brothers-in-law, who desire (their own) welfare.

    56. Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rite yields rewards.

    57. Where the female relations live in grief, the family soon wholly perishes; but that family where they are not unhappy ever prospers.

    58. The houses on which female relations, not being duly honoured, pronounce a curse, perish completely, as if destroyed by magic.

    59. Hence men who seek (their own) welfare, should always honour women on holidays and festivals with (gifts of) ornaments, clothes, and (dainty) food.

    60. In that family, where the husband is pleased with his wife and the wife with her husband, happiness will assuredly be lasting.

    Orlando.
    Okay, That's good that you found this. Just wanted you to be aware of the other side of the coin. You can't expect women to behave in a certain way as if they are maids and men own them or something...men have a duty towards women too.

    Still I think that what shri prabhupada is saying is only one sided and it is unfair for us to expect this type of behaviour of women.

    In today's time it is not practical at all. Women are equal in are aspects in a married life; man is not the only person that puts food on the table.

    Anyway, as you can see this is one of the things I disgree on with shri prabhupada, though I have the utmost respect for him.
    satay

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    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    Reading the messages in this thread i just had few things to share. In modern world where everything is judged by power of money and materials, it is impossible to dream of this kind of household life. Life itself is changed so much and we are trying to romance with the angels we see in our dreams.

    It is wrong to assume that Vedic life didn't give code of conduct for men but not in terms of taking them to cinema, star dinners or vacation spots. The feel of being a maid or slave is modern invention where women want to compete with men in getting better economical status and social rights in the name of 'freedom' and liberation. But what kind of freedom and liberation is this? So both husband and wife are so much in to making money and in that process they lost their happiness and forgotten the actual "Dharma".

    Bagavata and Veda talks about those who want to lead the dharmic way of life where there is no feel of being a maid or being a dictator etc. When the man is Dharmic, he will be given a "Dharma patni" and you will get one if you 'try' dharmic life.

    Good promise isin’t?

  10. #10

    Re: The right behavior of a hindu woman

    The pros and cons of the "modern world" aside, I feel that women should have the freedom to choose how they should live just as men do. Culture can certainly have its expected social codes but it should not prohibit the freedom for women to live as they choose to even if this goes against what the majority believe. If a woman chooses to get a job instead of just being in the kitchen, they should have that right. Like it or not, such roles are for the most part quite outdated. ~BYS~

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