Humour

[Eastern Mind]

Vanakkam Brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles:

As you all know, ours is an incredibly serious religion. There is no room for silliness. God Siva wouldn't approve. Neither would Krishna. Especially not Kali. In order to progress on the path, one has to get serious about their sadhana, study scripture seriously, and give seriously to all charitable and worthwhile causes that promote the one and true dharma. Seriously.

So I would like to see a place where we could just try to allow for a moment the mind to wander off into unseriousness. A place where creativity and puns could be allowed. where we can look at ourselves and our concepts in a lighter way, but without fire. Not a mean place at all. Where we could compose poems that don't harm and be children again. Cheer and encourage, and pratter and ramble and not worry. let us beckon the God of humour, the one with the big belly, the Lord of categories, one who knows the multitudinous halls of Akasha better than anyone, the mirthful one with one tusk, a dentist's delight. So come on and join me all.
It is the festive season, after all. Festivus, for the rest of us.

Aum

[saidevo]

namaste EM.

Although sAdhana--spiritual practice is serious in any religion, Hindu (Sanskrit) literature as well as many of our contemporary Hindu gurus (must be the traditional ones too) have (had) a good sense of humour. Incidentally, the Sanskrit term for humour is hAsyam.

Here are some 'spiritual jokes' from SwamiJ:

• Don't just do something -- Sit there!

• Albert Einstein: "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."

• A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!"

"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.

• Typographical error: "May your medication today bring you peace, happiness, and bliss."

• This fellow was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped. He grabbed a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so passed, he was feeling exhausted. He looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help me, please, help me."

Suddenly the clouds parted and a deep voice resounded, "Let Go!"
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, and said: "Is there anyone else up there?"

• Time is the best teacher, although it kills the students.

• Bob Hope: "I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

• My karma ran over my dogma....

• Garth Brooks: "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."

• A group of bats, hanging from the ceiling of a cave, discover a single bat STANDING upright below them on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask, "What's wrong with you? What are you doing down there?" The standing bat answers, "Yoga!"

• Elbert Hubbard: "We are punished by our sins, not for them."

• If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it.

• Garrison Keillor: "They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."

• Some people talk about finding God, as if He or She could get lost.

• Albert Einstein: There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.

• Bumper sticker: I considered being atheist, but there weren't enough holidays.

• When two psychic friends met, one said:
"You are fine. How am I ?"

• Q: What do yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common?
A: They both take you to the core.

• Graffiti on a wall: God is dead! (Signed Friedrich Nietzsche)
Graffiti below that: Friedrich Nietzsche is dead! (Signed God)

• Meditation student: If I'm open minded, won't my brains fall out?
Teacher: No, just keep your mouth shut at the same time.

• Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?

• The enlightened ones have no boundaries, but respect those of others.

• If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand.

• Q: Why couldn't the Yogi vacuum his carpet?
A: He had lost his attachments.

• A temple for atheists is a non-prophet organization.

• H. G. Wells: "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."

• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. '

• Q. What did the advertisement of the yoga teacher searching for new students say?
A. "Inquire within"

• Voltaire: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."

• What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Pizza Parlor?

"Make me one with everything."

When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"

The proprietor said, "Change must come from within.”

• Lily Tomlin: "Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

• Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, "Did you hear that goat?" Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, "That wasn't a goat; it was a mule." Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, "If you two don't stop arguing, I'm leaving."

• Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.'

Ref: http://www.swamij.com/jokes.htm

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[Eastern Mind]

Incidentally, the Sanskrit term for humour is hAsyam.

So you hAsyam. (Don't know how to say it.) Good to know. I could have bottled my Guru's laugh. We were in the ashram one time and he was telling us how the ashram's parrot didn't like him. As he left the room he made this horridly funny mean face at the parrot. I was thinking, "No wonder!"

(has some)

Aum Namasivaya

[LALKAR]

Namaste All,

But I think there is hAsyam present in Hinduism 'Dharm'

even with pracharaks Like Maharshi Dayanand etc there is much humour

Krishan himself was with lot of hAsyam

[Ganeshprasad]

Pranam EM
i am glad i made you chuckle in the other thread

GP: So sorry for the assumption. With a name like Ganeshprasad, I should have guessed you were from jolly England. Right along there with the MacTavish, Smiths, and Windsors, its a right proper British namesake, isn't it?

Ah, what�s in a name, if the Englishman had his way, mine would be proper british sounding English name. lived here for almost 40 years but Indian through and through from Africa. Ganeshprasad my screen name, followed from invoking �Jai Ganesh� in a previous forum, as this fool needs all the help he can get from the one who knows all.

　
A pint o' Guiness then, mate. Please accept me sincerest apologies.

Cheers, my Matey.

begorrah
Is it from o�irland you be coming? I don�t know about the pint mate been a long time. But if you are game we will drink to welcoming the new year in style, don�t forget the head.

So Chelsea's 'avin' a mighty fine year, then?

You 'avin' a laugh are you?

don�t be insulting, Man U all the way.

Have a good one

Jai Shree Krishna

[saidevo]

namaste EM.

Yes I am hAsya-priya--fond of humour. To my friends and relatives I am known to have a good sense of humour. Looking at the fun/pun side of words and phrases is what I do habitually. When Amra called us fools in another thread, my first thought was what his name in the reverse looked like: Arma. Checking the Net, I found that ARMA stands for Armed Assault, and thought that perhaps he is armed with age. But then I also thought of other names formed out of his user id: Amar, ArAm (rest), RAmA, mArA, raam, most of which signify good things. In this way, I tend to cut kaDi-jokes (harmless, silly jokes) when I see an occasion for it.

I also watch Hollywood movies, even written about some of them here. As for my contribution of jokes to HDF, check this thread:
Nice, clean humour
http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=612

When in college, I tried my hand at poetry (epigrams and limericks included) and when Satay opened a thread for poetry, I dumped what I could find here: http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=2307

Since I like puns, I translated some verses of Kavi KALamEgham, a famous 15th century Tamil Poet (perhaps you've heard of him) and posted my work here: http://www.hindudharmaforums.com/showthread.php?t=3920, Kavi KALamEgham easily makes fun of everyone and everything: no one escapes his bite, even gods! He was an Asukavi--poet who composed extempore.

These are the days of Kali Yuga, so you need to do some tom-tom about you, specially when someone is curious: and you asked for it!

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[saidevo]

Some Tamil kaDi--silly jokes

• RAghav: You have joined the navy, you know how to swim?
MAdhav: You have joined the air force, you know how to fly?

• "Doctor, we have come to telecast the last minutes of the life of a human being.
"What should I do for it?"
"If you can inform us when is your next surgery scheduled, we would be present with the camera."

• Teacher: "You know about the first aid for snake bite? You should tie up the portions below and above the spot of bite."
Sundar: Sir, if the snake bites on the neck, shall we do the same?

• Guest: Tell me where the Taj Mahal is located?
Boy: In Agra, sir.
Guest: Very good. Now tell me where the Charminar is located?
Boy: There in your shirt pocket, sir. (Charminar is the brand name of a cigarette.)

• Babu: Hey, why did you lie to me that our cricket team won the match?
Gopu: Sorry-DA, I just gave a shock-treatment to stop your hiccup.

• Thief: PAppa (my child)! I shall give you a lot of chocolates, tell me where they have kept the jewels in your house.
Child: In the pawn shop.

• "Alright, you have made a cupboard, what next?"
"saucer-board."

• "Seems you sat down in the last meals sessions?"
"What to do? I am known to both the groom and the bride sides."

• Astrologer: As per your palm lines, money will be scarce to come by. Hold your teeth tight for just six months and then it will pour down?
Client: Which one, money or my teeth?

• "Why did you steal the Ganesha image from the temple?"
"This was my first steal, so I started with Ganesha."

• "According to my horoscope, I am supposed to be of immense knowledge."
"Now you understand why I don't believe in horoscopes?"

• RAmu: ENDA--hey, Cheenu, where's your father employed?
Cheenu: He is a watchman in the coach factory. And yours?
RAmu: He is a coachman in the watch factory.

• Girlfriend: If our parents consent, it will be marriage for us, or else suicide, you agree with me?
Boyfriend: Both are the same.

• "I think the professor is cutting a joke in the adjacent class."
"How do you know?"
"The boys are silent!"

• Spider 1: Why is that spider so proud of himself?
Spiser 2: Because he says he has started a website.

• "Doctor, as per your advice my hubby went waking out every day to reduce weight, but now he has become very thin! What should he do to become fatter again?
"Ask him to walk in reverse."

• "Like my father, I wanted to become a District Collector."
"Your father was a District Collector then?"
"No, he too wanted to become one."

• A lawyer to another: I know you are a cheat.
The other lawyer: I know you are a lier.
Judge: Now that your introductions are over, you can start arguing the case.

• As per the custom, the newly appointed teacher started asking the names of the boys one by one.

The first boy he asked said: "Sir, my name is Pazhani."
"Your father's name?" "Pazhaniappan." (Pazhaniappan--literally, father of Pazhani)

The second boy said: "Sir, my name is Murugan."
"Your father's name?" "Murugappan."

The next boy said: "Sir, my name is Azhagu."
"Your father's name?" "Azhagappan."

Surprised and bored, the teacher thought 'This time I will change the sequence', and went to a fair-looking boy.

"What's your father's name?"
"John, sir."
"And yours?"
"Johnson, sir."

With that the teacher stopped asked the names!

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[smaranam]

Namaste

"A scientist tells BhagvAn that they no longer need Him because of all the things science can now do. BhagvAn challenges him to a man-making contest, to which the scientist agrees. BhagvAn says He wants the scientist to do just like He did when He created the first man starting with dirt. The scientist agrees and picks up some dirt, to which BhagvAn replies, “No, no, no. You go get your own dirt!”

Please note : this joke is in no way supposed to disrespect the scientists. I rever them.

[saidevo]

Read kaDi jokes!

The term 'kaDi' in Tamil means 'bite'. Be forewarned that these jokes from the imaginary 'Group of Extreme Thinkers' is such!

• You can walk without your slippers;
but they can't walk without you.

• With the iddli flour you can make iddlis;
with the chapAti flour you can made chapatis;
with the chickpea flour can you make chicks?

• However much a man has in the form of house, estate or lands,
if he has to board a train he needs must come to the platform.

• Wait at a bus stop and you will get a bus;
waiting at the fullstop, can you get 'full'?
('full' in Tamil slang is to be fully drunk).

• A bus will stand at the bus stand;
an auto will stand at the auto stand;
a bicycle will stand at the bicycle stand;
will a mosquito stand at the mosquito coil stand?
You should ponder it...

• Even if an autorickshaw has the name 'auto',
it can only be driven manually.

• Even if girls drive them,
the Hero Honda can't become a Heroine Honda!

• Even if gentlemen eat it,
the ladies finger can't become gent's finger!

• Studying in an engineering college you can come out as an engineer;
studying in the Presidency College can come out as the president?

• You take a sleeping prescription to get sleep;
but you don't take a cough prescription to get cough!
(You are crazy to have such thoughts!--Reader)

• If you get toothache, the tooth can be extracted;
if you get pain in the leg, can the leg be extracted?
or if you get headache, can the head be extracted?
(DEi--hey, where are you people from?--Reader)

• Even if he is son of Bill Gates,
to do subtraction he needs must borrow.

• However fast the back wheel goes,
it can't overtake the front wheel--this is life.

• Even if there are crores of cells in your body,
you can't use a SIM card in any of them to talk.

• If you catch the tail of a running mouse, you are a 'kingu' (king);
but if you catch the tail of a sleeping tiger, you will have 'changu' (conch)!
(The conch is sounded in a dead man's final journey to the crematorium).

• You can run before a bus that is stopping;
but you can't stop before a bus that is running.

• If you ring up the police station the police will arrive;
if you ring up the railway station will the train arrive?

• However fast the train goes,
its last van will go only last!

• Even if the bus goes away, the bus stand will be there;
but if the bicycle goes, its stand will go together.

• You can stir the tea with a teaspoon;
can you stir the table with a tablespoon?

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