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Thread: Big issue...Help Please

  1. #1
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    Big issue...Help Please

    I am currently in a very volatile situation that I'm not sure I can defuse at the moment and it is leading to a breach in lifestyle. I have not told my mother that I am a hindu yet, and have not told her I have chosen the path of the vegetarian. What is worse, she is making beef products for the next week, and I cannot tell her for at least the next week (high holy days in judaism). What should I do? I can feel the effects of going against ahimsa and especially the consumption of beef. I've revealed my path to everyone else, but her. She presents...problems to put it lightly.

    Assistance would be much appreciated

    Namaste

  2. #2

    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Personally, I feel that causing undue friction with your mother at a time that is very important to her would be worse than eating the beef. If I were you, I would compromise my vegetarianism temporarily for the sake of family harmony, and then when a good opportunity presents itself you can share your new-found faith and lifestyle choices with her.

    I sympathize with your situation and wish you all the best. Please follow your heart and don't feel that you need to push the issue.
    Last edited by Ao; 08 September 2010 at 05:03 AM.

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Hindudism is more about the state of mind than what you eat, wear, etc, though following the culture helps you have some effect on the mind and body.

    But if a north pole guy has to follow hindusim by being vegeterian then even God cannot save him.

    Many saints actually have non veg foods also. So do not get psychologically attached to what you eat or wear. Those two are for your body which is not permanent. Mind is the more permanent one which moves from body to body and we should focus on the status of that only.

    Hope it helps.

    Love and best wishes

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Wonderful answers by Kallol and Ao
    To which all I can add is my agreement. A real spritual test will be to keep harmony, respect and ultimately love, between you and all you interact with, whilst keeping a balanced and moderate approach to your spirutal endeavours.

    Practically this means going with the flow and what you mother provides whilst she is cook and you live with her. If you know she would be open to vegetrarianism alone, and that too suits you, then perhaps introduce that idea alone before you both next go shopping at the butchers/supermarket to restock. As to vegetrainism as a requirement, I expect there are los of threads on the advantages or disadavantages to help make it clear of the path to take.

    There is no need to introduce anyone to your religious sentiments, at least not until you feel it will continue to keep the harmony. Sanatana Dharama, as someone wisely said on another post, is individual and is about your relationship with the divine.

    Good luck

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Vannakkam Eric:

    There are many others here who have been through this very dilemma, so it is a well worn path within the Hindu adoptive or convert group.

    It is quite the jump from any 'really practising' path to Sanatana Dharma. The more solid the previous faith was, the more difficult the move away is. It sounds like your mother is a wonderful and very practising religious person. Many of us who are or were in the same boat had or have families who were more tolerant or open, so it may be hard for us to clearly grasp the severity of the situation.

    One of the practical beliefs of Hinduism is patience. It is a direct effect of truly believing in reincarnation. Instead of the Abrahamic belief that it has to happen in this lifetime, we see it as 10, 100, lifetimes, or whatever. At present since you live with Mother, it seems to me that family harmony would override vegetarianism. Then when you get out on your own, you can adopt the new diet.

    I am familiar with "How to Become a Hindu" by Subramuniyaswami. One of the things he advised was to return to the previous religion and practice it fully for a full year. This is to strongly confirm your new religion. Patience again. There is no hurry. In fact some people who do just that decide that the old religion isn't so bad. This gets rid of 'whims' and then doubts.

    Another time on the island of Mauritius, there was a lot of fish eating going on within the people wanting to return to a pure Saiva belief. But this was really hard, because they had been brought up eating fish, and it was a staple, as it is on many islands. So Swami said, "I'll give you a year ." Once again, we see patience being advised.

    Vegetarianism, although important, is not the be all and end all. There are another 10 lifestyle or religious practice choices that are just as necessary, like simple being kind to others, and not speaking harsh words.

    Best wishes with your dilemma.

    Aum Namasivaya

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Don't repress your need to become vegetarian. Talk to your parents. What they say is not important, it's important that you talk about this. Maybe she'll support you, maybe not. But don't put this off until life is all roses without thorns. That's not gonna happen. You can always find excuses. Just grow some balls and tell your mommy you don't want to eat meat. If you are a sissy, you probably won't be able to stay vegetarian for very long anyway or achieve anything else of importance in life. In the past young people would stand up for their principles, but the current generation has become effeminate.

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    namaste everyone.

    Many Hindus are non-vegetarians and yet advanced in devotional worship, but the point is that Hindus don't eat beef--many cannot even think about it. NV Hindus generally consume mutton, chicken and eggs (no pork). In South India, since people do eat rice at least once daily, the favourite NV dish is the briyANi, which is vegetable fried rice, mixed with mutton or chicken meat pieces.

    Of course I understand that it is totally a different thing when a NV wants to become a vegetarian. I think this can be done progressively, but a Hindu IMO should avoid consumption of beef.

    Being a NV is likely to be a hindrance to spiritual sAdhana by meditation (jnAna yoga), but most Hindus at the starter level start with bhakti yoga. Although ahimsA is a key principle, it is largely about not resorting personally and deliberately to causing violence to harmless beings and people. In fact there is a proverb in Tamizh which says, 'konRAl pAvam tinRAl pochchu'--'It's sin to kill but that sin is gone with eating (what is killed).' Of course, this proverb does not mean or encourage eating meat--only that if it is a must one needn't be uneasy over it, although one would do better to avoid it in the long run.
    रत्नाकरधौतपदां हिमालयकिरीटिनीम् ।
    ब्रह्मराजर्षिररत्नाढ्यां वन्दे भारतमातरम् ॥

    To her whose feet are washed by the ocean, who wears the Himalayas as her crown, and is adorned with the gems of rishis and kings, to Mother India, do I bow down in respect.

    --viShNu purANam

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Thank you all for your answers,this helps me greatly. I think I will tell her I have decided to become a vegetarian. She will understand that (For other reasons) hopefully, thank you again.

    Namaste

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Quote Originally Posted by Sahasranama View Post
    Just grow some balls and........
    How does one go about doing that?

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    Re: Big issue...Help Please

    Quote Originally Posted by Believer View Post
    How does one go about doing that?
    I guess just as one develops biceps -- by working with them.
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    That which is without letters (parts) is the Fourth, beyond apprehension through ordinary means, the cessation of the phenomenal world, the auspicious and the non-dual. Thus Om is certainly the Self. He who knows thus enters the Self by the Self.

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