"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

[sunyata07]

Namaste everyone,

This will be quite a personal thread I am posting here, so in advance of this post I ask my kind friends on this forum to please indulge me the length of my ramblings and any schmaltziness that you might pick up from what I write. Everything I talk about here is genuine and has been on my mind for a long time.

This old saying "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" has been echoing in my mind since the moment I first heard it on HDF. No doubt the topic of gurus and spiritual guides has been discussed about again and again here on these boards, and periodically the question "how do I find a guru?" pops up here on this forum. Usually, but not always, it is a newcomer to Sanatana Dharma, who is enthusiastic about learning more than what they themselves can garner from the scriptures. They are eager - one might even say impatient - to learn more. Those who hear this traditional proverb for the first time become almost disappointed that finding one's guru might not be as easy as they first thought it would be. I know I was, but I also realised that there was much wisdom in the saying. Certainly, if nothing else, it has taught me to be patient. And while I am still "guruless" I learned a lot from other great teachers, many of which are members of this very forum. It also finally made sense to me about what is taught in the scriptures - of renouncing the actions you mistake as being your own, and putting your trust completely in God's will. When the time is right, it will be right. In effect, I feel like I've aged lifetimes since I first began to delve more deeply into Hinduism.

So, this is my present situation. I have come back after some serious thinking about my spirituality, and I have decided that in this lifetime my faith is important to me, and that I know I cannot live agnostically for too long. I have tried denying that that's what makes me unhappy (the thought of living with a concept of no God), but I realise I was fooling myself and confounding my doubts. There has been some hiccups here and there since I've restarted my sadhana, but I know with the compassionate grace of Sri Ganesha and Divine Mother, these obstacles will dissolve in time. In the apathetic lapse of nearly 6 months of no sadhana, no prayers and great confusion about my beliefs, I had given up any hope of meeting a particular satguru who was going to come visit my small country. I had known for some time she going to make a stop here, and last year in my discovering her existence I was intent on meeting her. After I had realised that faith did matter to me and that my doubts were an integral part of my journey, I later resigned myself some months ago that if I missed my chance to meet this special person, that it was my fault. I would have to wait again, or else go find her myself (which isn't really in my financial means at the moment, having recently finished college and trying to get full-time employment).

A few weeks ago, I happened to see one of the local newspapers being delivered around door-to-door. It was not one I read regularly, but on a whim, I picked it up and began to flick through it. To my complete astonishment and awe, I see the satguru I have been waiting for smiling at me with eyes full of love and understanding. I could have cried, but instead I felt a great sense of happiness and in a way, relief that I was being given another chance. Call it coincidence, lucky timing, happenstance, whatever you want yourself, but I know Ganesha had brought this notice to my attention. I had asked for a sign around the time of Chaturthi in September about what to do, feeling as if I had hit a spiritual fork in the road, and I know it was He who gave me this one. I just didn't realise He would respond so fast! My beloved Ganesha, I didn't realise my love for You could increase any more than it already is, but it has expanded a thousand-fold in knowing You are always watching out for me.

Am I overreacting in interpreting the old saying in this way. Am I ready for a guru, and has my teacher really made her appearance through the benevolence of God? I know it will be different for everybody. I do believe that no two journeys to Ultimate Truth will ever be exactly the same. It's all so strange. Even as I relate this to you all, I feel great anticipation, hope and joy in my heart. I am generally quite a level-headed person, and while I'm certainly not emotionless, my personality in this lifetime has been shaped to be guarded with my feelings. You may have even noticed that I have apologised for any insincere-sounding sentimentality I express in this post. It all stems from my real-life nature of being careful with what I say and how I reveal my self to others. I have read this satguru's words before, seen and felt her aura (not even in person) and it has opened my heart chakra in a way never before opened. I won't go into any more detail here on this topic, but suffice to say it is a part of me that has badly needed release from a power outside my own efforts.

Please advise me on what I should do. Is it right to ask this satguru in so forthright a manner to be the beacon in my search for Truth? Actually, I'm not even sure if I will be able to make myself understood to her (I know her native language is Malayalam), but I feel confident she will understand me anyway. But most of all, I know that even if the time is not right, or it turns out she is not the right guru (although a part of me knows she is) or she tells me to continue to wait patiently etc., just to be given a second chance to see her is enough to make me happy and feel confident enough to finally choose which direction to take on this spiritual fork in the road and continue down it happy and knowing I am loved and taken care of. In a way, it will be the closing of a chapter in my spiritual journey.

Om namah Shivaya

[NayaSurya]

I am so happy you posted this, far too often, in our busy lives it's easy to not pick that paper up (pick up the clue).

What does it cost for you to offer your affection up to such a wise being? Why not make a gift, and send it to them?

Or perhaps this wise one has a special soft spot for a certain cause which you could donate in their honor?

Even in the rare event that this was not the right being, such a gift would be goodly.

hugs for the wonderful schmaltziness<3

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Sunyata: For what its worth, my opinion is that you have it spot on. The only thing I would consider adding is that in a certain way, if you don't think you're ready, but are practicing the essentials, then you probably are ready. Those who are caught up in the competition of being spiritual with a lot of ego involved, in my opinion, don't actually get it, and aren't ready. The guru-student is so very very personal and touching. Only the True Gurus know ... one step towards Them, and it is their dharma to take nine towards you. You are fortunate.

Aum Namasivaya

[Onkara]

I wish the best for you Sunyata

[saidevo]

namaste Sunyata.

From the clues you have given, and from these links below, it seems the best you can do is to have the Sadguru's darshan and be in her presence, praying to her in your mind to take you as her disciple and raise you as her spiritual child. And she will know what you want and what she can give you in your present state.

http://www.amritapuri.org/10388/europe-2010.aum
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/...280398799.html

May the Parameshvara bless you with all spiritual and worldly auspicious welfare.

[sunyata07]

Thank you all for the comments and kind words of encouragement. They are dearly appreciated. I will mostly certainly bring a donation; I am a long-time admirer of her charity's works.

Eagerly I await Amma's darshan and for the moment I can be embraced by her tender arms. Words will no longer be important. In my heart, I will already know that I am her devout and loving pupil.

Om namah Shivaya

[TatTvamAsi]

She is a saint for being so selfless in this selfish world.

Let us know how your darshan goes!

[sunyata07]

Namaste,

Last Saturday marked the beginning of a new chapter in my spiritual life. I was able to meet my satguru, Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi in person. I am always somewhat at a loss on how to begin writing such personal experiences as this; words never really seem to suffice in saying what I want to say, nor would they ever fully encapsulate the range of emotions, vibrations and energy I felt during the entire time of her presence and darshan.

First of all, the venue was packed. From the moment it struck 8.30am and the doors opened for collecting darshan tickets, there were people of all ages, shapes and sizes queuing up to see her. Plenty of Indian Hindu faces, too, not surprisingly. I know Amma is well known all over the world for her good works and her continued goal of embracing of everybody, but I had not known that so many would turn out! After about an hour, when everybody had found places to sit or stand, Amma arrived. As she stood there, waiting for her swamis to finish the ritual Vedic chantings and blessings, a small child stumbled up to her and she smiled and reached a hand out and placed it on his small head in a gesture of love. It was so simple, and yet, I had never seen something so touching before. Right from the start, Amma seemed to be radiating something that was... superhuman, that was not of the lowlier world.

After Amma's swamis finished annointing her feet (on another note, could somebody tell me was this a form of abhishekam or similar rite?), she continued on past where I stood, and what happened over the next few minutes was so powerful, so new to me, that I felt almost afraid for a time. Until then I had not fully understood what some members on this forum had been talking about when they referred to "vibrations" coming from a temple, a sacred place or a greatly realised individual. I had an idea of it before from one of my sessions of deep meditation last year, but looking back on it now, it was a meagre experience, much much smaller than this one. The emanations from this person was remarkable. I'm almost certain it wasn't dizziness or light-headedness from the excitement of it all; I was sitting quite comfortably on the ground moments later after Amma had taken her seat, but still I could feel this "humming". It was not a sound-based phenomenon - it was almost like all the atoms in my body had become charged electrically, buzzing internally. I could feel its effects greatest when I closed my eyes. It was both wonderful and terrifying. This was all so new to me, that I was half-afraid that if I let myself go any deeper into this, I would lose control of everything. We began with the whole congregation meditating together on the sacred sound "Om". Meditating aloud on this at home by yourself is one thing, but if you have several hundred people intoning this all around you, you feel like your being enveloped by the Universe.

Waiting in line for darshan was not long - about 2 hours. My mother thought it was rather tedious to wait, but I found myself lost in the beauty of the bhajans in the background, the devotional singing, the great energy and peace that simultaneously seemed to pervade the room. And all the while, I was chanting my own mantra in my head quietly, praying that Amma would accept me as her student. When we began to fall in line properly for our turn, that's when my equanimity left me. I wasn't nervous, but you could say I was a bit... fidgety. Not even the very large flower in my hand could stop my hands from shaking and twitching. It was like I was back to my old impatient and restless state! I was expecting to lose all control of my emotions when it came to my darshan.

I didn't lose control, nor did I burst into tears as so many others did ahead of me. As Amma put her arms around me, she said very quietly to me, "My daughter, my daughter, my daughter." I held her back and let myself be lost in the Love of Divine Mother. I knew I had found my guru. I knew she had accepted me, just as she would have accepted anyone approaching her as Mother. In her arms, I felt a profound and unshakeable sense of peace come over me, one which I hope I will always be able to recall in trying times or when I feel alone. On an earthly perspective, Amma's darshan probably lasted about a few seconds, but in that moment time seemed irrelevant.

Afterwards, I sat nearby on the ground, and it was like all the hurt I had ever harboured needlessly and bitterly inside was being washed away by my tears. They were not tears of sadness, but they would not stop for a long time. I stayed in this cathartic, and slightly meditative state for about half an hour, watching others receive darshan, from month-year old babies to very old grandmothers leaning on their walking sticks for support. In those moments, I learned more important things about what guru means for the seeker of truth. Although guru will shed light on practical issues, helping the student to pick the correct mantra and detailing their sadhana for them, guru is not merely a practical instructor as I had always thought in my ignorance. Guru shows you the face of God, and Amma revealed to me God in the form of my fellow man, in compassion and in wanting to wipe away tears. I had thought I'd known this before. I'd accepted that all is Brahman, but I had not known, I had not seen it for myself until that moment.

The experience was very humbling. The effect has stayed over with me for the last few days, and it is still here with me, lingering like a low flame. I have not been this contented spiritually in the whole of my life. I am so grateful to all those, people and Devas alike, who have brought me to that moment, ready and fully prepared for Amma's darshan.

Humbly I thank You all.

Om namah Shivaya.

[saidevo]

namaste Sunyata.

Although guru will shed light on practical issues, helping the student to pick the correct mantra and detailing their sadhana for them, guru is not merely a practical instructor as I had always thought in my ignorance. Guru shows you the face of God, and Amma revealed to me God in the form of my fellow man, in compassion and in wanting to wipe away tears. I had thought I'd known this before. I'd accepted that all is Brahman, but I had not known, I had not seen it for myself until that moment.

Your words are pointers to a deep truth. In this Kali Yuga, most of us cannot take up sustained study and contemplation of scriptures or meditation or intense satsangha with a guru, even if we have one. This is why the great Tamizh siddha saint TirumUlar in his Tirumandiram said:

theLivu--Knowledge/wisdom/peace results by having darshan of Guru's holy frame;
Knowledge/wisdom/peace results by uttering Guru's holy name;
Knowledge/wisdom/peace results by listening to Guru's holy words;
Knowledge/wisdom/peace results by contemplating Guru's form.

Now that you have attained your Guru, you need not do anything else.

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Sunyata:

Very moving account. It certainly brought back some memories of my own.

Traditional Guru Puja is done to the Guru's feet in the form of abhishekham, yes. When the Guru is not present, the sacred Tiruvadi may be used. It is an ancient rite, worshipping the divine within.

Aum Namasivaya