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Thread: interracial marriage

  1. #21

    Re: interracial marriage

    Namaste,

    I think I need to clarify my views a little further. My intention is to bring out the opinion (it is my opinion and not known to me as fact, I admit) that compatibility among personalities have as much a role to play than dogmatic beliefs. Hence, Hindus might get married to Hindus, Muslims to Muslims etc., but I don't believe that religious compatibility should be given preference over personality, esp. when the person involved may have personality flaws that are completely masked or unknown. Handing over one's daughter to such a person irrespective of their faith would be very dangerous indeed.

    Having said that, I do see the point of the argument being made by the older people in the forums in this thread. If parents feel that their should be same-religion/race/caste marriages to enable marital success and happiness of the family unit, then good. I can see why problems might start. As one person pointed out, this would be a problem if the two people involved are strong minded in their faith.

    Yes, I agree that the success rates for inter-religious marriages are depressingly low, but the causality has to be known. For one, I think it is a confusion over how to raise children, how much society has an influence and how much we want our faith to be an influence on our lives.

    I have always mentioned to my friends that faith is supposed to help our lives, not hinder it.

  2. #22

    Re: interracial marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Eastern Mind View Post
    Vannakkam: The comments above yours were within the context of whether or not the marriage would be a lasting loving successful marriage, and at least in my case, based on personal observation, not some outdated chauvinistic attitude, as I believe you are suggesting. Of course you're welcome to hold differing opinions.

    I wish there were stats somewhere on 'reasons given for divorce' . I will have a look around. Maybe that will support or disprove the 'conjecture'.



    Editted to add link: http://www.religioustolerance.org/ifm_divo.htm Not necessarily relaible, but this site pointed to interfaith marriage as being 50% less likely to survive than same faith marriages.

    Aum Namasivaya
    Namaste Eastern Mind,

    I realize what you said - I did not mean to suggest that a chauvinistic approach was being taken by anyone. I was appalled however, by the sheer certainty that such relations would be headed for trouble, without considering the personalities of the people involved. My apologies.

    Hari Om

  3. #23
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    Re: interracial marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by hesh86 View Post
    Namaste Eastern Mind,

    I realize what you said - I did not mean to suggest that a chauvinistic approach was being taken by anyone. I was appalled however, by the sheer certainty that such relations would be headed for trouble, without considering the personalities of the people involved. My apologies.

    Hari Om
    Vannakkam: I think the bottom line here is that we (I am perhaps assuming for others) wish everyone the best in any marriage, regardless of any statistics, or differences. To think otherwise would be like cursing someone, quite adharmic. I've only been to a couple of interfaith marriages, and although there were misgivings (Christian bride's parents wouldn't even attend) everyone who did go certainly wished the best for the young couple. That was about 5 years back, and I saw them again just last fall, and they seemed quite happy.

    In my own marriage, my in-laws didn't want their daughter to marry me, (probably anyone other than a Prince from England) and didn't attend. It wasn't for religious reasons though. Somehow we managed to prove their doubts to be fruitless.

    Best wishes.

    Aum Namasivaya

  4. #24

    Re: interracial marriage

    "Race" in the biological sense of genetic ancestral lineage is real. If individual X's ancestors took certain path of travel out of Africa (or within Africa for that matter) so many thousands of years ago, and then due to population isolation they developed physical and biological characteristics that made them slightly distinct from another group of humans that took another path, then these differences are real. They will manifest themselves at cellular DNA level of a person, like how different DNA people will digest the same food differently, how they may or may not have color-deficiency, hair-balding, body-hair, natural rhythm, etc.

    On top of one's natural biological disposition, there is also the super-imposition of the larger culture (possibly built by the natural biological disposition of the larger group around us) upon us.

    When people talk of "personality" being the greatest compatibility factor between two lovers, they actually mean the individuals' moral-value system, because this in essence will reflect how the individual carries him/herself in the relationship, in the household, in society, etc. So in essence they are talking about the individual's "religion" but avoiding the term due to sectarian connotations.

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