Re: Letting go of one's former religion...
Originally Posted by
Eastern Mind
Vannakkam: Personally, I was raised nothing, so it may have been easier for me. Still there are formerly held views that do come up. I used to struggle with defeating the agnostic in me sometimes. Still occasionally I catch myself, and I've been officially Hindu for 31 years, unofficially for nearly 40.
The point is 'it takes a great deal of time' yet there is no rush. Its just a difficult difficult process, as all that early childhood programming left its mark, especially if it was constant 24-7, daily prayers, God in conversations in the car, being constantly reminded of Christ, etc. We all know that early childhood subconscious impressions are the strongest. To think we can just rid ourselves of that in two or three months or even years is just preposterous.
I've observed many former Christians who 'think' they have it out of their systems, yet their actions prove otherwise. A good example is karma. When something happens to them, they are very unable to see it as their own karma. And yet they claim to be Hindu? It really comes to the forefront at moments of stress.
Even the idea of being in a hurry is a Christian concept. In Hinduism there is no hurry. See the mala as 108 lifetimes, and each bead as one lifetime. Then maybe we'd be in less of a hurry.
Best wishes with it.
Aum Namasivaya
Thank you for the relational story. I think it will take years for me to fully get it out of my system, and I only pray for the blessings of my Srila Gurudeva to make me a better Vaishnava in my next life. It is already difficult enough to be a shuddha bhakta (pure devotee) in one lifetime, let alone the humility to withstand several!
It generally starts with me defending a certain religion (Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, Baha'i Faith, or Judaism), and then I will search through the appropriate Scriptures or source texts to show the good side over the bad ones. I have been so familiarised with the Bible, as well as the Baha'i Scriptures, and the Qur'an, that eventually my faith will vascillate and I will be unsure. Of course, this is my first doubting period, and I'm sure that there will be more in the future.
I grew up as a Catholic, where we would go to church on a Sunday, where the first man to name me and visit my impregnated mother, was not my father (who vacationed for six months after my birth even), but an Irish priest. My grandparents would take me to church if they visited, and growing up with my grandmother, she would go to mass every day, and pray the rosary every day... even upon the mentioning of Protestants, she firmly said that "They do not believe in Jesus Christ!! They do not believe in Mother Mary!!" Since the Spanish inquisition in the Philippines, my entire family has been Christian for four generations.
We also have Baptists, Pentecostals, and one Jehovah's Witness.
A picture Bible was the first book I read as a child. I grew up in my teenage years committed to Christ, followed the Charismatic movement (so I went into hypnotic trances and did glossolalia as if the Holy Spirit 'embodied me'), going to Bible study, rosary group, charismatic prayer group, choir, Sunday school, and Mass. Even my family expected me to become the first priest.
I know that instead of quoting the Bible, I should learn to quote Sanskrit and Bengali shlokas and their English renderings. Instead of thinking of Jesus, Baha'u'llah and Muhammad, I should be thinking of the great saints, Queen Kunti, Draupadi, Vedavyasa, Yamunacharya, and others. Instead of thinking that Filipinos are inherently Christian by culture, I must think that the Philippines, like every socio-ethnic group in the world, were once part of a vast global Vedic empire, the islands of the Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, etc. called Jambudvipa.
I guess I just merely need to trudge on... and that there is no need to study any other Scripture, since the Vedic Scriptures are vast and a multitude.
"Only by providence have I been forcibly brought under Your lotus feet and deprived of all my opulence. Because of the illusion created by temporary opulence, people in general, who live under material conditions, facing accidental death at every moment, do not understand that this life is temporary. Only by providence have I been saved from that condition."
-- Bali Maharaja
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