Ego Trouble

[Rudy]

I realized something today; I have an ego the size of a gorilla. I need priase for my small deeds, I brood over small offensives to myself and my "honor."

Is there any way for me to daily chip away at these shackles I made for myself?

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Rudy: Well, that's a lot better than having a gorilla sized ego and not realising it.

Firstly, ego isn't all BAD. Because of ego, things get done. Since I'm most familiar with temple building, I remember all the egos involved. But we all had a group ego and sense of pride when it (our temple) got built. A bunch of ego-less people may not have been able to accomplish that.

I see ego sort of in the same light as karma. Its neither bad or good, its just there. Everything has its purpose and all is of Siva. Beating oneself up emotionally over it isn't healthy either.

Personally, being a bhaktar really helps me, because when I think of what God (or my Guru) can do, I really do feel quite insignificant.

One of the vows a sannyasin (at least in the sampradaya I am most familiar with) takes is to never talk of their past. One day this knowledge in me slipped and I asked a monk of his birthday. Because I am quite familiar with him he just gently shook his head, and smiled, and I must have had this 'Duhh," expression on my face.

Not that one should entirely give up talking of oneself, but it does help. Not that we all can or desire to become renunciate monastics, but there is wisdom in their vows, even for us.

Best wishes at fighting and subduing this amazing area of the mind.

Aum Namasivaya

[charitra]

" I have an ego the size of a gorilla "
Great, welcome to the club !!

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namast�

I have found that the shrinking of ego begins when you find it's okay
to be wrong.

praṇām

[Eastern Mind]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namast�

I have found that the shrinking of ego begins when you find it's okay
to be wrong.

praṇām

Vannakkam Yajvan: So true. We (students and I) used to play the game at school of looking the person in the eye, and saying, " ______, you were right and I was wrong."

I must admit that I was probably right in about 75% of the situations, but still they took great pride in teacher saying, "_______, you were right and I was wrong." But there was a lesson there. I think in some sense it is a skill that can be taught ... joyously.

Even my Gurus openly declared, "We all make mistakes." And that's exactly how they got to be who they are.

But its not always that easy, as sometimes communications break down, and both are sort of right because of the inability to understand.

Aum Namasivaya

[Harinama]

Even Arjuna says that this ego and mind is so difficult to control. Honestly, the first thing is to recognise that we do have ego.

However, I have always seen that this is something difficult to control and a lifelong struggle. For all Gaudiya Vaishnavas, the key is whaty Mahaprabhu has taught us in the Shikshashtakam:

trinad api sunichena
taror api sahishnuna
amanina manadena
kirtaniya sada harih

Humility like a blade of grass; Tolerance like a tree; Giving Honour to every living being.

"One who is humbler than a blade of grass, who is more tolerant than a tree, who gives all honour to others without expecting it for himself, is qualified to chant the Name of the Lord constantly."

Easier said than done. My ego went and lashed out at some guy who said that the shastra I quoted has 'wrong Sanskrit' and called me a mleccha... XD

[Rudy]

EM/Yajvan: Admitting I'm wrong seems like a good place to start.

"Easily bruised" another way to describe my ego (but that might be a whole other problem).

[Ganeshprasad]

Pranam,

Even Arjuna says that this ego and mind is so difficult to control. Honestly, the first thing is to recognise that we do have ego.

I know Arjun says in chapter 6 of the gita, controlling the mind is like controlling the wind, if he said anything about ego please can you quote the actual verse.thank you.

Jai Shree Krishna

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namasté

EM/Yajvan: Admitting I'm wrong seems like a good place to start.

When we're okay with being wrong it curtails one's self from inflating the ego. Being right is fine but not when one chases this idea to be right and to show another they are wrong.

The word that is used in jyotish is nīca - meaning humble. Doing what needs to be done yet just staying the course on what needs to be accomplished.
Another word for humble is śikṣā शिक्षा - meaning modesty, humility. Yet isn't it interesting that this same word śikṣā means learning, skill.
It suggests we ~learn~ or are brought into this ability to be humble with time.

Now this humble at times gets confused with 'shy' and this is not the case. It is the notion of right action to the best of one's ability, yet with the point of view of not making it a big deal . We can see this brings one to level-headedness and this manages the ego accordingly.

praṇām

[iksvakave]

I really like and look up to your response.

I have a question though ---- have you heard of siksha? It means punishment. I thought it was interesting that siksa and siksha are so close.

I could not agree with you more on what you have to say about modesty and humility.


Iksvakave