Advice sought

[Friend from the West]

Namaste all,
In early August, I plan to take my beloved son, who will just turn fourteen, to the mountains that I knew so well (am remembering better). I have not went there in a very long time. Before, used to spend all time there. We will go "primitive" (hope I can still do it ) with not much luxaries.
Afraid son is losing self to pure materialistic world and not respect for all things because of what has been provided for, culture, me and beloved wife, etc... (think of a post of NayaSuryas and wonder if I am too crochety-Porky's reference ) Afraid is removing self from what is real and what is play/artificial. At times demonstrates such great compassion and empathy and others time coldness, indifference, disrespect. From younger and older poeple with many children, few children, no children, please, if you will, offer me what you would share with your beloved only child during this first time journey? I know what I want to share and that is why I am seeking counsel (lol).
Rich

[Onkara]

namasté Friend
Not trying too hard, will help you both to enjoy it I think. Some of my fondest memories are wondering and talking with my friend in the woods. It was the escape from all 'demands' of society, but it would take a few hours for the weight of "city life" to drop of its own accord.

Not sure how much wild life there in on your mountain, but interacting with it through binoculars or understanding the different names of trees can make it more interactive if the mood is inquisitive.

For example, if you know you are likely to see deers, then read a little bit about them on the Internet, so you can drop a few facts you remember if you see them like how long they live, what they eat. Or perhaps survival skills, if your son is interested in that.

I am sure you will walk away with memories he will cherish, although he may not express that at the time. Enjoy!

Namaste all,
In early August, I plan to take my beloved son, who will just turn fourteen, to the mountains that I knew so well (am remembering better). I have not went there in a very long time. Before, used to spend all time there. We will go "primitive" (hope I can still do it ) with not much luxaries.
Afraid son is losing self to pure materialistic world and not respect for all things because of what has been provided for, culture, me and beloved wife, etc... (think of a post of NayaSuryas and wonder if I am too crochety-Porky's reference ) Afraid is removing self from what is real and what is play/artificial. At times demonstrates such great compassion and empathy and others time coldness, indifference, disrespect. From younger and older poeple with many children, few children, no children, please, if you will, offer me what you would share with your beloved only child during this first time journey? I know what I want to share and that is why I am seeking counsel (lol).
Rich

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Friend from the West: Parenting is just so hard, no? Some of my best personal parenting times were long car drives with just one child, no structure, just going along relaxing. I didn't even get the opportunity with all of them.

My first question which may lead to advice is: Who's decision is this, yours or his? Does he even want to go? If he had a choice about going somewhere to bond with Dad (assuming He even wants to at his age) what would he do?

From my own failures and successes, I would say He needs to be an integral part of decision making. Its time He learned how to make mistakes, so parent needs to be more the watcher. Its a lot of fun to watch as well.

I wish you both a great trip.

Aum Namasivaya

[NayaSurya]

EM! Those are very wise words! Recently I took all 8 of mine on a camping trip...we have a built in campground here very close to the pool with a full facility to shower and use the restroom...so it's the sort of camping that's just a scant hair above your house.

Now, as a child my mother took me to the Great Smokey Mountains and camped for a week with nothing but raw goods and some toilet paper. She would make pancakes shaped like micky mouse on our griddle in the middle of the wilderness...you could say she was very hard core.

Brave or crazy...mostly a bit of both.:P

But, you know this camping holiday...despite all those comforts...my kids were miserable, it's the weather...normally we wait till fall for the big camping out thing and it's a lot more managable with the weather loosing her teeth so to say.

This year has been a real wash for us! Normally we are at our local amusement park riding coasters and floating in the ocean style lagoons.

This year with the weather and our house refi going on I just took a vote with the children and they voted 6/2 to stay home. I am so so glad we did...this weather has been the worst in decades.

But, I can tell you from my boys perspective the best things we ever do together is at that amusement park. When we all get in line for bumper cars and crash into each other until I am laughing so hard I cry. But no body kicks butt like me at that ride...so somebody is always claiming I cheat! Funny part is I almost always have a little child with me, half the time not even my own. For my birthday last year the children gave me a ride on the bumpers without any of my younger children riding to impede my winning...because children under 40 inches have to have someone with them.

Well as I was getting on...a lil girl with no parents had been waiting and I wound up letting her ride with me. She had a blast! and I still won!

There's a coaster here called the Raven...(after edgar allen poe) very creeped out with spooky music and it's a real thrill...I shouldn't even be on it with my heart.:P But riding it with them as the full moon rose over the park was just one of the most joyous things this mundane existence can bring you. Just a simple moment with all your boys and the cool wind....and the bright full moon rising up in the velvet blue sky....Om namah Shivaya! I am so grateful He brought me here in this great service to Him....what a joyous thing being a parent is!

Every child has a currency...something very beloved to them...find your son's currency and share it with him!<3

For my sons...it's a moonlit stroll down a spooky lane in our campsite...fire crackling and mom singing mantras to Beloved under a star filled sky...maybe a wagon ride at sunset through the haunted pumpkin patch...with mandolins playing in the distance...or a moonlit ride on an outrageous coaster...or a full on family ride in the canyon rapids where one son....so conveniantly decided to stay up on the hill and watch...but had a pocket of quarters to activate the soaking jets on us as we came rushing round the bend! Then was present of mind to snap some pictures of our soaking...ugh! Could be as simple as feet in warm sand...at some beach doing nothing.

Find that currency, whatever it be....and I know you can't go wrong.<3

[nitinsharma]

Time to get your son his first metal album..

[Friend from the West]

Namaste to all,
Thanks to everyone. Much to consider. EM, I approached him on it. The binculars I have and would not have taken. I will now. I guess if I have had to accept rap music I could live with metal in the house. It would be payback in ways . I think his currency is spending that one on one time. If I asked him what we have planned versus spending two days with me in a lodge with a pool, room and T.V. and basketball court he would choose this option instead.
He is our only child so perhaps I fret too much but thought this would be one on one time, out in nature with sights he has not seen, and perhaps feel the presence that gets drowned out with his life of electronics and music. I have been accused of overanalyzing things before.
Thank you all for taking the time to comment... Heavy Metal included.

[Friend from the West]

Namaste,
Thanks again for all of the responses. I took counsel from you all. I will even purchase a heavy medal album on way to Mountains. In consideration to wisdom offered here, I shucked my assumptions of what my son's currency was and asked him. On early Saturday morning we will be in mountains on trails that this side of deep Canada and Alaska will see things from Divine that can not see anywhere else. That evening, a lodge (my asking him got us here versus laying on ground in mountains, lol). Day two, pool, basketball, and eating.
Thanks again so much for getting me to approach my beloved son. I do not always see the obvious.
Blessings.
Rich

[kallol]

Are we trying to stop time or trying to control it ?

I wonder if the earlier saints had done so, we would not be having all the inventions, and the life we live.

Exposure to nature is definitely good as it will bring in balance of life. But we should be careful that it should not be out of our obsession with "our perspective of life".

I would rather try to find out friends who has similar age children and jointly go out on picnics or a few days outing. Make it interesting for the children to provide initial impetus. Once started mother nature will have a spell on them.

Love and best wishes

[RosemaryOs]

No pressure, give freedom, LISTEN!!!

[Friend from the West]

Namaste,
Rosemary and Kallol, come on now. I thought the other posters got through to me and I acknowledged this. OK, if had to be honest to Kallol's question, has dawned on me (I am slow), that control time would be answer.
Thanks everyone for the mirror in face so that we have chance for better time.
Humbly,
FFTW