Giving Advice

[sm78]

How do members of this forum feel about giving advice. From time to time when I am visiting this forum, I also do have this premitive urge to share some information, but I find it hard to do it unless it is in reply to a question in an existing discussion. This prevents me from doing anything constructive in this forum, yet trying to do something constructive seems somewhat pretentious and when I myself am an eternal doubter to my understanding, on what basis should I share it? Was wondering if others feel the same. Earlier it was easy with people like Sarabhanga who had natural roles of spiritual teachers in reality and virtually to take the onus of giving advice - while rest could chime in, post comments or questions.Now with them away from active posting for years, some respected senior members have taken the burden to share information and advice. It is a great service, but how do one deal with oneself that fact that we may do more karmic harm than good when we advice or give unsolicitated information? Or when we ourselves are still just believers but not knowers? Its easy when asked, the karmic onus is on the person who asks. I think it even applies to jivan muktas, and they refrained from saying anything unless asked (the reason why all spiritual texts are in question and answers). Just a open question for thought.

[NayaSurya]

Recently I worked over this same question...it came in the form of a childhood memory inwhich my family home was being flooded with sewer water.

I was very young and figured out how to fix it.

Now, from this experience this child did not go out and begin fixing the city sewer or trying to go home to home to help others as I was still an ignorant child. But, from that I began to realize that even the most ignorant Portion here has some of the answers.

It is no secret in this forum that I am a fool...and my advice is taken with that disclaimer...I don't think anyone here will confuse my advice with a Higher Portion's contribution...but even the lowest fool such as myself has some worth in words.

The other night my husband was watching Gordon Ramsey and an Indian chef and English chef were cooking some horrid beef dinner using rum...and I was horrified.

But, Gordon and the whole restaraunt loved the dish served with rum, pumpkin and some curry...and the Indian chef won the whole thing.

For me...I would never eat this and found it wretched to watch the preparation. But, for them it was the best thing they had ever eaten.

And this is how most things are in this realm....every angle so vastly different...and every experience so very dynamic.

You, are a valued, wonderful Portion S...and your contribution is vital to this forum.

We are all Portions of the same Seeker...each more newer or further upon our journey...

Please, always give advice.<3

[Mana]

Namast&#233; sm78

It is interesting that you speak of doubt, to my mind doubt is something to be yoked to ones belief; in order to make progress, in fact an essential part of that progress.

Without belief that doubt runs amok.

Human instinct is a very powerful thing, entwined with the guna we feel our way though this life. Your vision, although very convincing, is no more or less instinctive than the electrons released and stored in your stomach by the fires of prANa there, like a small sun, it releases energy for us to observe. Your tripe will tell you that which your eyes can not see.
If we learn to ignore our dominant senses some what, to listen.
Some in this life will offer advice to others, some will help others, some will not. It is clearly a part of our instinctive paths to learn how to do this. Could it be that those who feel the need to speak are doing so from sympathy and empathy. It is down to you to ascertain the extent of and nature of the ego in others, for this I use my nose.

Any wisdom offered is a blessing, if it is made from a clean heart. It is only in satsang that we can check and allow others to check that our hearts are pure.

praNAma

mana

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam sm: Surely, the topic varies. I don't see many here advising on how to breathe, or do tantric yoga. Usually its just simple reasonably external questions. I think most of us, if not all of us, just realise its a forum where different points of view get expressed. Most people would be able to use their own common sense to discriminate on the advice.

A lot of our chit chat is in this realm of answering questions. Without it, there wouldn't be much to discuss.

But your point is well taken, and interesting. I've probably gotten into trouble (the other person resenting it, or vehemently disagreeing) for giving unsolicited advice myself. Nobody likes someone else acting out like he knows so much more than others, and offering up his advice (in reality, opinion) all the time. I remember an old aunt who had a line for the newlyweds at every wedding I ever attended. She'd come upo to the young couple with a stern face and say, "I want to to give you a valuable piece of advice ... don't listen to anyone's advice."

Aum Namasivaya

[AmIHindu]

How do members of this forum feel about giving advice. Just a open question for thought.

Namaste,

At the time of giving advice, I feel good. But after submitting post I feel bad. Bad in the sense, I feel like I am egoistic person which is obstacle for me to move forward. Sometimes, I think who am I to give advice!!! I am not authorized person nor I am accomplished person.

So much of posting I have done in so less period of time. There are 99 post our there from me. Sometimes it is just haste which makes my post. Sometimes I feel like we should have delete option from which I can delete my post, which is full of advice and arrogance and ignorance. Sometimes, I think like we should have a draft option, where I can keep my posting thoughts and later time I just click to post, but I do not like to ask for too many facilities.

I like to stop giving advices and like to reduce posting, rather I should read more on this forums.

I think there is a saying -Half-full pot is much noisy.

[sunyata07]

Namaste Sm78,

I admit this has crossed my mind at times when I look back over my responses to posts which explicitly ask for advice and help. I agree with AmIHindu in the sense that there are moments when I regret having written down my suggestions, feeling in retrospect that I really know nothing at all. Perhaps in this sense, it is better to remain silent for a reason (because one feels they cannot genuinely contribute something worthwhile based on personal experience), than to start theorising, well-intentioned though it be.

My thoughts are much along the line of Naya and Mana. Advice offered with a sincere, honest heart that is looking out for another jiva has the power to do more good than bad. God knows I have my own share of doubts and demons to contend with from time to time. I think many of us who are still in the lower grades of spiritual evolution are like this. It's strange then, that I sometimes notice that we can appear most blind to the problems that loom before ourselves personally, as opposed to someone else. Have you ever experienced angonizing over a problem one week, only to find a friend or colleague worrying over the same thing, and then suddenly you offer them advice on how to see it through? I guess it seems reasonable to argue that one is not qualified to give such advice, but then, perhaps because "ahamkara" is removed from that situation itself, wisdom seems to flow without effort. It seems a lot harder to convince yourself of the same sagacity when it concerns you.

Om namah Shivaya

[Believer]

Namaste,

One of the four personal Rins (Obligations/Debts) is,

'Guru/Rishi-Rin (Obligations towards Teachers/Sages) � This is our obligation to the Sages who gave us the scriptural knowledge, to the Acharyas who translated it for us, and to the Gurus/Teachers who taught/trained us in different fields of knowledge/spirituality. The debt is repaid by disseminating the acquired knowledge/traditions, both in the realm of matter and spirit, to as many people as possible.'

It appears that it is my obligation to try to help others with whatever scant knowledge I have acquired either through direct experience or through book knowledge. Of course no one is obligated to accept my perspective/advice/ideas/beliefs at face value. If what I post sounds reasonable/acceptable and is of some help, take it; else move on. Simple as that.

Pranam.

[NayaSurya]

This stewed in my heart all day today as I mucked through this mundane realm.

I was at school all day for a grandparents honor day. Since my Beloved husband was abandoned by his parents and my own mother is dead...I went to school so the children would not be sad they did not have these special relatives.

My daughter's teacher came to me during the final quiet moments and asked me about the upcoming holidays and how to proceed with my children. I was forced for the very first time to explain what it is we are...and it was as if I was cutting my own heart out to have to speak of this infront of such a large group of people listening.

In the end...both of us had tears in our eyes and she and I both had goosebumps from the conversation and again I felt as if I would rather die than have to disturb this precious moment of ambiguity I was enjoying.

Most of my life I have sought desperately to blend in and make as few waves as possible...and it seems such a foolish portion almost always makes great wakes which always flow from every side.

Part of my own karma is to wish for death, and yet pray for a long life for the sake of my family. For at this moment if the world were to stop spinning and all of us to dissolve back up into Beloved...I would be finally at peace.


This hill, we make the rules...and so happiness is as happiness does. We choose the state with which we move through this realm. There is a saying here...

"Aint nothing goin on but tha rent."

Which means that in a home full of Love, if your bills are paid, everything is fine....everything else is set.

For me this is status quo...the bills are paid and so every ounce of our existence is simply working out our True Debt.

This forum is the only place I have which I can speak of these things and send this tremendous feeling of Love out...at least for now. There are many reasons for this, most involving the vastly difficult job I am performing here. In a normal month I perhaps leave this hill five-six times if that.

So when one comes in need, my heart is deeply wishing to help...to be of some good somehow....somewhere.


It seems a waste to allow this incarnation/incarceration to slip by without trying to be of some use.

What I wish so much for each of you is Love and fullness and i am deeply sorry if i have ever come off as being full of ego when trying to encourage or help.

[yajvan]

hariḥ oṁ
~~~~~~

namast�

How do members of this forum feel about giving advice. From time to time when I am visiting this forum, I also do have this primitive urge to share some information, but I find it hard to do it unless it is in reply to a question in an existing discussion. This prevents me from doing anything constructive in this forum, yet trying to do something constructive seems somewhat pretentious and when I myself am an eternal doubter to my understanding, on what basis should I share it?

I think your question is reasonable and germane to the forum of this nature. I for one am hesitant to give advice. Why so ? I really do not know the other person enough, so I hesitate most often. Also who am I to know the right prescription for the other person. Even with jyotish as an aid I wish to minimize advice.

Yet that said I enjoy talking and discussing the śāstra-s I have been taught, or am studying. My teacher has informed us, even though you may not live kevala� you still may point the way. Just as the person who has a map can show another the direction to the city in question, like that one can point the way. The key here is having the map - not hearsay. That is the value of the śāstra-s , the maps.

I read again and again, become absorbed in the truth, read the truth , talk of the truth. It is our good fortune we can do this on HDF.
Yet I must be honest to my fellow HDF members - there are things I read on HDF that are just not concentric with the knowledge of Being, with the fullness of truth. Yet I know it is done with good intent and absence of malice. I try to correct this not by the wisdom of the sludge hammer but by nudges, inspiration, and the words that come from the upaniṣad-s and āgama-s. If one pushes back hard the mind and ego revolt and digs their heels in deeper. One does not ( then) take the opportunity to reflect and re-consider a position, but wishes to advice a point of view to be right, to win and not deflate the ego. Who wins ? No one.

So, now I wish to offer advice to sm78 . If you think you have something to offer that is of value , then please do offer it. It is all in how you position it , no ? Will the offer be done with the craftsmanship of the artisan or will it be done with the force of sledgehammer breaking bricks ? It is how one serves up the meal that will make it delicious to consider or to avoid.

praṇām

words

kevala - the highest knowledge; unity of the Supreme

[Eastern Mind]

Vannakkam Everyone: I was reflecting on this a lot more today. Thanks for that, sm, as anything that induces reflectivity is a good thing.

I really agree with you, Yajvan, that we really don't know people very well here. It is the internet after all.

Another aspect I have noticed about questioners in real life and on here is that sometimes its not a real asking for opinion, but it's actually just a plea to have a preset opinion validated. Suppose someone says, "I'm painting my house. I'd like a second opinion." So you're all honest and say you don't like the color the person had selected. Then they get upset.

"Then why in the world did you ask?" comes to mind.

In my opinion, in those cases they're not real questions. But its hard to read ... especially when you don't actually know the person.

So I try to decide beforehand what the reason behind the question is ... legitimate curiousity, or just a need for validation.

Another factor is when advice is misinterpreted. This place is not the ideal one for all the nuances of communication, like eye contact, tone, body language. I think emotion definitely plays a role, and occasionally the initial reaction is dead wrong. Then its time for more reflection.

Aum Namasivaya