Hi, I'm 22, from NYC, and I have a very deep background in Catholicism. I was born into it, and then as I grew I ended up becoming very devoutly Catholic on my own terms (as opposed to it being pushed on me), which was great for a long time. However, I started having problems once puberty hit and I knew that I was gay. Being a good catholic, I never acted on it (despite offers) and am in theory still chaste today, but going through years of thinking that God hates and is disgusted by you for something you can't help and haven't even really acted upon was spiritually and psychologically damaging. I ended up minoring in theology to try to help figure things out, and I'm glad that I did because those classes were really a Godsend: 1) Showing how the bible was made exposed how influenced it was by man And 2) It helped me realize that God doesn't hate me, even if I have sins.

There was a point in time about a year ago where I was content in my religion, but I've never been able to figure out a way to say that it was okay to be gay and Christian, and I didn't want to never be able to experience love, and with time I stopped believing in God all together and started having an existential crisis that originally made me depressed, and eventually just made me feel apathetic to everything.

Despite this, I still felt a desperate need for spirituality, so I started studying different religions (paganism/Buddhism/Islam etc) just for the sake of finding something that would start a spark. However, I really didn't find any kinship with any of those religions. Then one day I was listening to the jazz composer Alice Coltrane (wife of legend John Coltrane) who was very much influenced by Hinduism (her songs are all about faith, and have names like Shiva-Loka, Hare Krishna, etc) so I started studying Hinduism and was amazed and inspired by aspects of the belief, and felt like I had a weight off my back for the first time in a long time.

However, I still don't really know a LOT about Hinduism per se, I don't really know if one can be gay and Hindu, and despite believing in aspects of it, I still believe in a Christian God/Jesus to an extent, and would have a difficult time ever praying to any other concept of what God could be. So, I'd probably never really be a good hindu, but I'm still interested in learning more.