I know that this is a loaded question here, but here me out.
For the last 3 years I've considered myself agnostic (never an atheist). I left religion for a variety of reasons, and mainly they have to do with religion's rejection of human nature, along with their greed. To clarify, I grew up Christian. I dabbled a bit as a teenager in Neo-pagan religion, but other than that I remained Christian. I was born into a Protestant family, as a teenager I converted to Catholicism (on my own) which was the religion of my father's family, and in my early 20's I became Greek Orthodox. Eventually being out in the world, my beliefs began to be shaped differently (I became more of a rationalist), and many of those beliefs came into stark contrast with Christianity. As every time I went to any liturgical service at any church, it seemed they constantly asked for more money, that's when I decided to cut them off completely.
This leads me to where I am now. As an agnostic I never stopped believing that something was there, just don't know how to describe it. I've been interested in Hinduism before, and actually posted on here ages ago. No matter how much I study, takes tests, whatever, I sem to teeter-totter between my ambiguous agnosticism, Hinduism, Mahayana Buddhism, and Neo-Paganism. There are parts in all three that seem to contrast my feelings and beliefs, yet Hinduism is the religion that probably comes closest to me, most specifically Shaktism and Shaivism. Personally, I view the universe itself with it's underlying flow of primordial energy as God/dess itself. I don't believe it's pure good or pure evil, it just is. I feel that life and all that is around us is a Divine play, and people need to realise that it's all just going to fade away. That's not to say don't participate in it, just realise that it's finite, not real, and only that core essence that is the universe is.
Now, there are things that hold me back from Hinduism. Things that I wont give up, and restrictions in general are a part of the reason I left religion to begin with.
1. Eating meat. most specifically beef. I understand the concept of ahimsa, but also feel that if an animal is slaughter in a way that is honourable to it's life, giving it thanks, I see no problem, as other animals as well eat other animals. I refer specifically to beef because I'm Argentinian, and eating beef is part of my culture, and I wont give up my culture and who I am to join something. Can I cut don drastically on beef eating to the point where it's only once in a blue? Yes. Can I make sure that what I'm eating is organic and had a good life? Yes. But if I find myself in Argentinian and with family, I'm not going to say no. It's insulting. And as for eating other animals, the same applies. That also brings me to tamasic foods... garlic, onion, and mushrooms are my favourite veggies... I'm not going to cut them from my diet and really don't understant why they are so bad.
2. I embrace human nature and all forms of sexuality and pleasure, and refuse to reject it. This is again a huge reason I left religion to begin with. I think it's fine to have sex inside and outside of marriage, without whomever you want, with as many people as you want. I feel that society has created such narrow restriction for the most human of acts. I'm NOT saying go wild though. There is a time and a place for everything in life, and things should be done in moderation.
3. Liquor. I've been known to imbibe from time to time once in a blue and find nothing wrong with it. It's not all the time, but when I do I have fun with it. Again all things in moderation.
4. I smoke cannabis. Every day. It helps me to relax, and, at times, quite frankly, to meditate and be closer to God/dess. Again, there is nothing wrong with it, and there are many, many accounts of not only Hindu ascetics smoking cannabis, but as the plant being Divine and akin to Shiva Himself.
5. I'm a little urked at what seems to me (not to be offensive) to be Hinduism effort to somehow prove they are similar in likeness to Abrahamic religions. I don't know, you all most likely vehemently disagree with me on this, but hear me out. It bothers me that Christians and Muslims yell about workshipping "false gods" or being "polytheists" (a very narrow, restrictive word). Then, what it seems like to me, Hinduism coming back and saying "No we're not, we are monotheists just you! See!" Or saying that Hinduism is amoral, and somehow morals have to be prove to be JUST LIKE THEIRS. I guess it comes from hundreds of years of colonialism, but seriously, they shouldn't have to prove ANYTHING.
6. I'm highly syncretic. I have no problem seeing the similarities between gods and spirits of various cultures and recognising them as all being the same.
In any case, I've probably insulted some of you, and for that I'm sorry. But these are the reasons I hold back. I also probably seem like to some of you some New Age hippie, I guarantee you I'm not (I don't sit around and complain about stuff, I believe in getting stuff DONE, lol).
So if any of you can please tell me if and why I can still consider myself Hindu ad point me in the right direction, that would be really cool. Also, if you think that I am not and can point me in the direction of a spirituality that sounds like mine, that would be great as well.
Thanks!
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