Aum Namah Shivaya
Namaste and pranams.
During my short stay here, I have received many PMs of loving support for myself and my family, however, each has also been a bit curious about me...especially how it is, I can worship Lord Shiva's most destructive, terrible and frightening form with so much love and devotion, yet I am not scared myself, being a caring, sensitive woman.
Part of this has to do with my Hindu 'upbringing' in South-East Asia, preferring the more tribal and esoteric forms of Lord Shiva, whilst the rest comes across as strong feelings and emotions experienced whenever I perform my daily meditation and worship.
The very first thing I notice about Lord Shiva is how awesome He is...quite literally.
Lord Shiva is 'the destroyer' and it's a reminder to me just how quickly He can snuff us all out...me...you, everybody/thing. Lord Shiva sitting on a mountain in deep Samadhi and in full equanimity isn't really going to give a damn, face it. lulz
It's just that I feel Lord Shiva as Kala Bhairava. It's just the feeling I get...
I have also seen the many 'forms' of Bhairava, but it's sort of not really like that either. I don't identify with any of them either, really.
Lord Shiva, to/for me, is directly synonymous with Maha Rudra and the form of Shiva worshipped in the Vedas...worshipped by Yagna...maybe by those living in the Harappan/Indus Valley...long time ago.
This is nothing like the pictures/images/statues of Lord Shiva today, where He has been 'beautified' into something I can't really relate to either - Lord Nataraja is about as close as I can get to this...the Shiva Tandavam is what allows Lord Shiva's spiritual energy to be released into (an onto) an unsuspecting world or person.
Please don't get me started about the Shiva Lingam either. I could never worship this. I understand it is supposed to represent the 'non-corporeal' form of Lord Shiva....but if I wanted to do that, I would be spending years in meditation and spiritual austerities to realise the 'non-corporeal' form of Lord Shiva for myself....not any form of natural formation that resembles (or is 'sposed to represent) a 'penis'.
I don't even want to 'go there' in regards to a divine, omnipotent being even having the necessity for one of these...let alone have it represent a non-corporeal form. When I see a Shiva Lingam, I can't get over the 'wow, isn't nature and erosion pretty cool to make all those stones from the Narada River all the same shape and size?' I see them as being nothing more than stones, blocks of ice, man-made objects...I just cannot 'get' the significance whatsoever. I don't own a Lingam and not about to buy one.
Well, there we have it in a nutshell. I just feel so much love and devotion towards this most potent universal energy. This form of Shiva that calls his 'Shakti' to him....or in other words, that which resides at Sahashrara, calling on the force of Kundalini...destroying all ignorance, sin and illusion...in effect also 'destroying the world' from the perspective of the individual.
This is Bhairava. This is why I feel this.
Aum Kaalakalaya vidhmahe Kaalaatheethaaya dheemahi Thanno Kaala Bhairava Prachodhayat.
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